You know you're having a bad day when:
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your Preparation H.
It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought a waterbed.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.
You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.
The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.
Nothing you own is actually paid for.
You receive a 150-page instruction booklet on how to save money...from the electric company.
Airline food starts to taste good.
Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.
You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.
Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
Your aunt Maddie, who has two poodles and a chihuahua, tells you that her doctor just recommended plenty of rest in a warm, dry climate...and you live in Arizona.
The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
You look out the window of the airplane and the Goodyear Blimp is gaining on you.
The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
People think you are 40...and you really are.
You know you're having a bad day when:
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your Preparation H.
It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought a waterbed.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.
You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.
The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.
Nothing you own is actually paid for.
You receive a 150-page instruction booklet on how to save money...from the electric company.
Airline food starts to taste good.
Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.
You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.
Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
Your aunt Maddie, who has two poodles and a chihuahua, tells you that her doctor just recommended plenty of rest in a warm, dry climate...and you live in Arizona.
The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
You look out the window of the airplane and the Goodyear Blimp is gaining on you.
The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
People think you are 40...and you really are.
Bad Days
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